A saying goes, “Those close to crimson become red; those close to ink become black.” Parents’ different views, behaviours, and examples set for their children create different kinds of family atmospheres, like the air they breathe as they grow. It has a direct effect on their growth, moulding their personalities and value systems.
As a mother of three, I, like most Asian parents, got my children to learn different instruments. Seeing my 8-year-old son and 12-year-old daughter have the opportunity to participate in pianist holy work at our local small church makes me very happy.
One day I arrived home from work rather early, and got ready to practice playing hymns since I was scheduled to be pianist a week later. In fact, after being in Canada for 12 years, other than practicing with the children, I myself had yet to really practice. Even when I had spent a long time at the piano, my eyes and hands still refused to comply. I sat stunned for a while, looking at the clock. When I saw it was time to start cooking, I was ready to give up. I told my son, “Mom has to cook, so I have no time to practice piano. Can you fill in for me this time?” Unexpectedly, he solemnly answered, “Mom, this is your task and responsibility. I can teach you but I can’t play for you.” Stunned, I asked him, “I practiced playing piano with you for so many years, and you can’t even help me in this small thing? Not to mention I really don’t have the time to practice.” My son, normally naughty, very solemnly said, “Aren’t there a few more days? Don’t always say there’s no time. The time is already set.”
My son taught me a lesson. All the words he used in reply were all ones I’ve said to him before, leaving me speechless.
It’s often said “parents need to practice what they preach, do what they say, and set examples for their children” and “train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it” (Proverbs 22:6). We need children to learn principles in living and the essence of spiritual living. Clearly I didn’t set too good of an example for my children.
How do we set an example for our children? Being a good mother is easier said than done. In our lives, how many smart children challenge authority, criticize their parents, and ask “Why should I do this?” To my understanding, there are two things. First, if you don’t want your children to do something, don’t do it. Second, try your best to do the thing yourself that you want your children to do. For instance, if you don’t want your children to play games all day, but you are always on the computer or phone, your request towards them will not be convincing. Similarly, if you want your children to honour you, would it make sense if you yourself don’t honour your parents? You want your children to learn to forgive others and have an optimistic outlook on life, but if you are always angry or complaining, then they will follow suit and act likewise.
On the night our Lord Jesus Christ established foot-washing, He humbled Himself and set an example for the disciples to love one another. When He knelt down to wash the tired dirty feet of the disciples, out of His genuine love, I believe many of the disciples were confused but moved when they heard the answer: “If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet. For I have given you an example, that you should do as I have done to you” (John 13:14-15). Yes, many questions have easy answers. If our Lord Jesus Christ wants us to act a certain way, we must try our best to do so. Think about it: What kind of teaching is as convincing as leading by example?
