The Lord is my strength and song (Ex 15:2). This is what Moses and the children of Israel sang to the Lord after He brought them out of the land of Egypt. Without God leading them, they would not have been able to leave, nor would they have had a song to sing. The Israelites were stuck in Egypt and couldn’t escape on their own, but by the strength of God they were able to. They were not able to leave by their own strength or deliver themselves, and in this moment, they acknowledged that the strength of God was what delivered them out of the land of Egypt. Without God, the Israelites would later have no food to eat and no water to drink when they complained they were thirsty, so God truly was their strength and provided for them constantly. However, unlike the Israelites, we must not forget about His strength, but we must acknowledge Him and stay humble before Him.
For myself, this past semester of university has been the hardest so far. I tried really hard, but it just seemed like things were not going right and I was not where I wanted to be. However, there were many lessons from the past year that reminded me to have faith in God, believe in Him, and draw closer to Him. During CYSC in January, we were asked to share a verse that summed up the past year, that could be related or unrelated to our faith. Immediately, I knew which verse I wanted to share, and it was 2 Cor 12:9a, And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” In the past year, I have taken up new responsibilities in the community, as well as in church, that I would say are outside of my comfort zone. I struggle with new things because I’m a shy and introverted person. There were weeks when I felt so overwhelmed, and it felt like I couldn’t do what I needed to do, and my anxiety was really bad. However, it was in those times when God taught me that I wasn’t alone. I learned to spend more time in prayer with God and felt His power and strength in all that I did. If I did my best and gave what I could give, He would take care of the rest, no matter what it was that I needed to do. If I felt too scared to take on a role that was asked of me, He would comfort me and give me the strength to do it. It felt like as long as I trust in Him, He would guide me. With each experience, I became more confident in His strength and power.
When I had exams, I would always arrive at least 15 minutes early and in the time when my other classmates were studying and trying to cram as much as they could in the last couple minutes, I felt at peace. I would listen to hymns and choir songs while I was waiting to enter the exam room, and it would bring me peace and calm my anxiety. I would like to share some lines that gave me peace and touched my heart. “In the stillness of this moment, in the quiet hour of this space, we bask in silent wonder at the miracle of grace. As our hearts reach out in mercy, heaven's arms reach up above. How marvelous, how wonderful, and my song shall ever be, how marvelous, how wonderful is my Saviour's love for me… the gift of peace divine.” I like the melody of this song as well as the words. It talks about taking the time to think about and feel the quietness and grace of God, which is especially important in a world that is so busy and full of noise. It also talks about His great love and the gift of peace that He has given to us all. “There’s a place I go to rest, once again I’ve failed the test. Gentle arms that right my path, show your love instead of wrath. Walls I build dissolve away in this hour when I pray. In this place, this holy space, I have seen amazing grace…patiently You listen close to every burden I disclose… In seasons of distress and grief, my soul has often found relief.” This song talks about having a place of rest in the arms of God and in returning to His gentle arms, He will correct our path with love. In prayer we can give everything to Him and let our walls down because He listens to everything that we say, and in God, we can find comfort and relief.
After exams, I would usually walk out flustered because I don’t like to take them and the feeling of waiting for exam scores, but after a particular one, I felt more stressed than usual. The interesting thing was that when I was taking the exam, I felt completely at peace. I was calm and answered the questions and I was happy with all my answers. This exam was the hardest out of all the ones I have taken, and it was a grade that I would need to use to apply to graduate school, so I was already stressed about it weeks before the exam. I had also taken this course in the past but never completed it because I wasn’t happy with the grade that I had, so I told myself that no matter what the grade was this time, I would accept it. Through encouragement from my family and friends, as well as their prayers for me, I felt that I was able to trust in God and find comfort in Him. After this exam, I didn’t feel very good about it and all the answers that I checked for in my notes didn’t seem to be correct. That night I went home and prayed to God, “I claim to have entrusted this exam to You, so why do I feel like this? Shouldn’t I feel at peace, why am I doubting You?” I reflected on myself, and a verse popped into my head which was Romans 8:28, “and we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.” and Jeremiah 29:11, “for I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.” I knew in my heart that God wouldn’t close a door in my life if it wasn’t His plan for me, and if that door did close, then maybe He is teaching me a lesson that He is the one in control and He will open another way. If it is not His plan for me and He closes that door then I will submit to what His plan for me is. In the past couple of years, I was so set on my own plan for my life that I was unsure if I could accept God’s plan if it wasn’t the same as mine and I wasn’t able to see how God had been guiding me all along.
However, when I finally stopped to look and reflect, I saw that He truly wants what’s best for me and has been guiding me all this way, from choosing a university close to home, a degree that could help people, and strengthening my faith and friendship with my fellow brothers and sisters. We may not always understand His plan or be able to see what His path for us may be in the moment, but even through hardship, I have felt His strength and I have been able to rejoice. I feel the joy and peace on the Sabbath that He wishes for each and every one of us, even in the midst of what seems to be impossible. Going to church on the Sabbath to attend service even though I had an exam that night would always bring me peace as well as being able to attend service and have fellowship with other youth even with many deadlines coming up. God taught me that really everything I do isn’t from my own strength. Sometimes we are so stuck in thinking that all our successes are our own and we don’t acknowledge Him. In Isaiah 49:16, it says, “Can a woman forget her nursing child, and not have compassion on the son of her womb? Surely they may forget, yet I will not forget you. See, I have inscribed you on the palms of My hands; Your walls are continually before Me.” This verse tells us that God will never forget us, we are even inscribed in the palms of His hands, however, it is so easy for us to forget Him. So, we must strive to remember His strength and work in our lives and remain humble before Him to acknowledge that without Him we are lacking.
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